It’s common to start the beginning of a post with a little introduction to get your readers in the right mood. But for the sake of this post: I do not care about your mood or feelings.
As much as people care at one moment in time, nobody really cares about it all the time. Try to remember this little life hack. The human mind likes to play tricks on itself by making it believe that every mistake or event will be written on their body for the rest of their life. In most cases, this is a big lie we tell ourselves to stay in our comfort zone.
In the grand scheme of things most people really don’t care about your mistakes. Most of them are too busy focussing on their own mistakes to even notice your mistakes.
But somebody cares
I don’t literally mean that nobody cares. You’re not alone. Nobody is alone. But asking somebody that never met you to care deeply about your personal feelings is not something that will happen anytime soon. The people that care are the ones affected by your presence or loss. Even though 99,9999999% of the world does not “care” about you personal well-being, the 0,0000001% that know you do care. One of life’s adventures is to find the people you want to have around you just as much as they want you around them. Hunt them down and befriend them.
Don’t think too much
We’re good at thinking but we suck at controlling our thoughts. As soon as you see someone you want to talk to, talk to them. As soon as you want to do something, do it. The longer you wait the harder it will get to convince your mind to actually do it. Because one thing people are good at is thinking about excuses not to do it.
Mess up on purpose
The best way to learn is to fail fast and fail often. Reflect on where it went wrong and improve yourself. It’s a great way to change your way of thinking. At first, it’ll feel uncomfortable but after failing a bunch of time you just don’t care about the failures anymore. Nothing and nobody can stop someone that does not mind failing. They almost always succeed because they’ll never quit and keep on trying until they figure it out.
If you think you know everything you’ll stop looking for better ways to fix the problem. It’s the impediment to growth. You can compare it to trying to cut wood with a bread knife. Most people, when they succeed to cut down a tree with a bread knife, will be satisfied enough to stop finding new ways to improve it. Even when you find something that works, you should never stop searching for something that works better! I believe it’s easier to accomplish the goal with an ax or a metal saw.
Change your surroundings
It’s important to keep adding value to the people around you. You’re a combination and accumulation of the people surrounding you. The more they grow, the more you grow. Now you can either try to change the people around you right now or find new people to surround yourself with. And don’t even try the “oh I’m too old to make new friends” rhetoric. You’re never too old to make new friends. Friendships are not tested by time, rather by loyalty and mutual understandings.
Use your legs
Don’t feel pressured to do things you don’t want to do. (Most of) you have 2 legs and a mind. Use them when you need them. If you’re being pressured into doing something you don’t want to do or if you’re in a situation where you say something wrong, you can walk away. I’m not saying to just walk away when someone is talking to you or when you’re confronted with something you’re scared of. No, what I’m saying is that you have the option to walk away. It’s your life and you need to remember that at the end of the day, you’re in control of your own legs. Knowing you’re in control should be enough to at least face any obstacles.
Grownups are nothing more than grown little children. They have not experienced or done everything there is to do. There are things where some adults cannot help you because they have never experienced or thought about it. While experience is a great teacher it does not always come to the right answers. That’s why it’s very important to become wise enough to know that you’ll never know it all. You won’t even know a fraction of everything there is to know. So all you can do is make sure that the small fraction of knowledge you have is enough to pass on to the next generation to help them grow.
You have to do more to get more. When you tell yourself that you’re going to finish something try to finish more than you first planned to do. If you’re in the gym or working out at home and set your mind to doing 10 sit-ups, convince your mind to do 12 when you reach 10. Do this enough times and one day you’ll be able to convince your body that you’re the driver and you decide when you want to quit.